wait.

I recently read this from one of my all-time favorite books: Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. I have always really loved the first line that describes waiting on God, but all of it spoke to my heart when I read it last night. It was just what I needed. Elisabeth is full of so much wisdom and a steadfast obedience to God's word.

"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts.

'Truly my heart waits silently for God; my deliverance comes from him.
In truth he is my rock of deliverance, my tower of strength, so that I stand unshaken.
Trust always in God, my people, pour out your hearts before him; God is our shelter.'

A roof over our heads. A hedge. A windbreak. A warm coat. Shelter from attack - from onslaughts of doubt that God would take care of everything if I would simply trust Him - what if He didn't? Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all.

i have the best job

Today in Human Growth and Development we talked about dating (aka: going out). What this looks like for 6th graders, I'm still trying to figure out. Anyways, I've had some marvelous quotes from them the last couple of days. Even though the videos are from the 80's, it doesn't matter to them - the subject matter is fascinating. Their eyes are glued to the tv screen, and they are always asking questions. Here are some of my favorites:

After studying what it feels like to be attracted to someone:

"Miss Lutes, when you're holding a girl's hand, and your hand gets all sweaty - is that because her hand is hot?"

"Miss Lutes, when you're sitting next to a girl you like in a movie, and she turns to talk to you and your face gets all warm, is that because she has hot breath?"


We had some discussion time where I was fortunate enough to hear all their philosophies of dating. The appropriate time for students to begin dating according to 6th graders is 10-18 years old. #1 worry about dating: Is he/she cheating on me? How late should teenagers be allowed to stay out? From 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. Then go out again. (I don't know what they would be doing at 6 a.m.) Reasons not to let a guy in the house while you're babysitting: you might get grounded - FOREVER!


Here are some questions and comments from today:

"Miss Lutes, can you even remember that far back to what its like to date someone?"

"What did they call dating in your era?" (After I told them to ask grandparents and parents what they called a guy/girl relationship)

"How old are you anyway?"

"I think the guy should ask the girl out, and the girl should pay." (This got a dirty look from the girl sitting beside him. Somehow I don't think that method is going to work very well for him)

And my favorite...

"I don't mean to be a cupid or anything, but I think someone in this class likes you!" (Said to me as he ran out the door)


Yeah, I never thought I'd say it, but I love teaching Human Growth and Development.

i hope i'm ready for this...

The picture pretty much says it all.



As of tomorrow, I will begin teaching my 6th graders the Human Growth and Development curriculum. The next two weeks may very well be the most memorable of my entire first year of teaching for a number of reasons:

- All the videos were made in 1985 (so the hair, clothing, music, and popular phrases are AMAZING).

- I get to watch the videos 5 times a day - this may be the last straw before I go crazy.

- The videos have not come in yet, so I don't really know what to do with my kids in the meantime.

- My mom always opted me out of sex ed when I was in elementary/middle school.

- I've seriously considered giving extra credit to any of my students who will cut their hair into a mullet.

- 6th grade kids + sex education. Need I say more?


Well, I should get back to lesson planning. Here goes nothing...

isaiah 40

So I'm teaching a lesson on Isaiah 40 tomorrow in Sunday School. I've been reading over this chapter for the last month or two now, and I continue to learn new things every time I read it! Some of my favorite verses come at the end of the chapter.

While most of the verses describe the greatness and incredible power of God, these last few reveal the balance between God's majesty and also his personal concern for us, his children. It is a reminder not only that God holds everything together in the universe, but he also has planned out and cares for every aspect of our lives - even to the point of strengthening the weary or giving the ability to walk faithfully through the trials of everyday life.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?"

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasing God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

- Isaiah 40:27-31

two wrecks, three months.

so, i wrecked my car today. the car i bought two months ago. here's a nice before picture.



and here's the after picture.



yep, it sucks. goodbye a lot of money. luckily i still have the geo to take to work while the honda is getting fixed. luckily no one was hurt, and the other car actually doesn't look that bad. it was really new, though - a 2006 toyota corolla. so, if you're in the market for sturdy cars, the corolla's a good bet.

living hope

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

- 1 Peter 1:3-4, 6-7

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

- Romans 5:2-5

Lord, give me this living hope. Even when I have to face suffering and difficult times, help me to keep this heavenly perspective. May I always remember that you don't allow me to go through suffering without using it to develop character and faith, and to bring honor and glory to you. Help me to be a person that rejoices in trials of many kinds because I know you are changing me to be more like you. Not that the trials and sufferings are good in themselves. But that you are greater than any trial Satan might put into my life - you can bring good out of what was planned for evil.

cry out to jesus

one year. three people gone. why?

what do you do when your heart aches for the people you care about who have lost a person so dear and precious to them? what do you do when everything reminds you of someone - when you realize you'll never get to see their face or hear their voice on this side of heaven?

this past week, these past few months, this past year has been a tough one for me. not that God didn't bless me with good things and funny memories and dear friends - because he did. i don't want to be negative and pessimistic, but i do want to be real. i think we always try to push the brevity of life out of our consciousness, but we can't escape it for long. who knows if you will be given tomorrow? or your next breath? i think about other people around the world - people who have it a lot worse than i do. people who have lost everything: family, friends, possesions, safety, security. it doesn't lessen the pain i feel, but it does remind me to feel the pain of others. it does remind me to pray for others. and maybe that's not such a bad thing either.

lately, i've been reading lamentations. these people really had a reason to cry. it seemed like God had turned his back on them. their city was invaded by the enemy - and nothing was left standing. people were homeless, starving, taken captive, or killed. jeremiah had been a faithful prophet and warned the people to turn back to God, yet he still had to go through this horrifying experience. most of the book describes the misery and desolation of jerusalem. however, in chapter 3 there is a glimpse of hope.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."
- Lamentations 3:19-26,31-33

"because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed." what powerful words! even when it feels like everything around you is falling apart, we can know that God's love for us is great. sometimes there is pain so great that no one can comfort us but a God who is infinitely loving.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
- Third Day "Cry to Jesus"